Do Toys Go To Heaven?

The Toxic Crusaders just chillin'.
The Toxic Crusaders just chillin’.

So one day the teddy bears were hanging out with the Toxic Crusaders, talking about all sorts of stuff, until things started to go wrong when the two-headed guy brought up religion. There are two topics that always have a risk of bringing in trouble: religion and politics. He made some comment about how it was a pity that toys don’t go to heaven when they die, and Pookie the teddy bear got offended. He ran off and cried, until another Teddy bear came along to cheer him up.

So having been encouraged, Pookie jumps in the car with John Heron and goes on a long road trip all over the country to check out just about all of the churches in new zealand to research whether or not toys go to heaven or not. Eventually he found this one place and listened to a baptist sermon about how humans became sinful and was going to hell, until God came to be a man to rescue them by dying for them.

Pookie – Not going any place bad

Pookie got the revelation: heaven and hell had nothing to do with teddy bears or any other toys, it was entirely a matter of humans. So Pookie wasn’t sure whether he’d go to heaven or not, but he was certainly sure that he wasn’t going to go to any place bad, and for that he felt comforted. John Heron started going to church, and Pookie felt that that was appropriate. John even invited Pookie to come along, but Pookie didn’t feel the need. He knew it wasn’t really relevant to him, so he declined the offer.

The Day Five Brave Toys Saved The World (And Saved John About $500 In Roof Repair Costs)

Ok at this point I’m thinking it should be a tv series, rather than a movie, because so many ideas can’t fit in one movie. Probably. Anyway everything on this website is only brainstorming, nothing official as of yet.

Esok the Viking

Okay so this new toy comes along, a Viking action figurine called Esok. He’s a great guy, but he’s always scared that the sky will fall on his head, so he wears this helmet to protect himself just in case. He read in a holy Viking book that one day the sky will fall on everyone’s head. Everyone thinks thats silly and teases him about it, but some of the younger toys are concerned – what if the prophecy is true?

Anyway John Heron (as an adult) is climbing around on the roof trying to set up some Christmas lights, and he puts his foot somewhere where he shouldn’t have, making a hole in the roof with his foot and sending a whole lot of dust crashing down into the room below. All the toys in the room below are terrified and believe that the prophecy is indeed true, as the Viking Scriptures said. According to the book, says Esok, the dust coming down was only the beginning -there were much worse things to come before the actual sky fell on their heads. A rainstorm hit that night, and though John put a bucket to collect the water, the toys were lying awake all night, worried about what would happen next.

John knows that the hole in the roof is not the end of the world, that the sky will not fall on everyone’s heads, but he cannot explain to anybody why because it is a matter entirely in the realm of adult humans, which toys cannot understand. So he explains it to them in terms that they understand, that they must embark on a quest to save the world, to “prevent the sky from falling”. Roof restoration has never been so exciting. John figures if the toys can fix the roof for him, he doesn’t need to spend any money on a repairman. The price of roofing Auckland has to pay is a lot, almost as much as roof restoration Adelaide, though not as much as roof repairs Brisbane.

So John gets some of the bravest toys to embark on his ‘quest’, and sends them up onto the roof to fix the hole. Of course, he has to be up there with them to explain what they need to do. From the neighbours perspective, it looks like John is up on the roof playing with his toys, but eventually the roof gets fixed, the rain stops pouring in, the toys receive a viking parade from the other toys for their valour in saving the world from the falling sky, and John saves a few hundred dollars on roof repair.

This would be pretty funny, seeing the toys working on the roof repair like the fate of the world depended on it – perhaps they should do it in the rain, to make it more scary, and someone slips and almost falls off the roof for dramatic effect. At any rate, its an interesting concept that John Heron is at the same time both completely crazy in his friendship with the toys and yet totally civilised and mature like a normal adult, the way he goes about getting the roof fixed. Its should be ambiguous at this point whether John is even crazy or not, perhaps the toys are real? But then you see from the neighbours’ point of view, John fixing the roof himself with the toys in his hands. No, the toys are only real in John’s head.

Idea: The Evil Clown

As I come up with ideas I’ll just post them on this site until I’ve got a big enough collection of ideas to start writing up a script.

The creepy clown that you love to hate
The creepy clown that you love to hate

Ok so at that stage in the movie where he’s starting to look sane in front of his parents again but he has to keep a kingdom together in his bedroom, there are all sorts of problems that go wrong while he is at school. His castle, the bunk bed with slide, is under attack from a toy that his parents had given John for his last birthday, some freaky clown puppet. He had been telling all the toys that he is the new leader while John is away, even though John said no such thing.

So he had gone around the room renovating it to look like some gothic emo kid’s bedroom, which made the parents worry. John had to apologise and tell the parents, “Gee, what was I thinking? It looks so ugly, I’ll change it right now”.

Then while he was browsing the internet looking at sites like trying to think of boys bedroom ideas to renovate his room, the clown was off clowning around with John’s sister’s barbie dolls, and that was really bad. Half the dolls in John’s sister’s bedroom were all depressed because they had been used, abused, and dumped.

Though that last part might be a bit dodgy for a kiddy audience, it should probably be implied, rather than blatantly obvious what the clown was up to.


John Heron: The King of Wonderland

This is the John Heron Project: I’m going to make an awesome film about a kid called John Heron.

fullretardSo this is my idea. There’s this little kid playing in a loft bed with slide, and he’s teamed up with his GI Joe to defeat the evil Jafaar (the bad guy off Aladdin) when all of a sudden his imagination goes full-retard and it’s down the old rabbit hole. On the one hand there are scenes of the crying parents trying to cope with their child going insane, on the other hand it shows the kid’s journey through Wonderland, and the two realms parallel in plot and intertwine. So the kids loft bed with slide becomes his little castle and he becomes the king in this land, where he has to lead his people and effectively run a country.

Eventually the task of leading a people as king is such a daunting task that he grows up very quickly and becomes quite mature, like an adult. In his interaction with his parents he realises that they do not see his kingdom as he does, but in his maturity he decides to pretend not to see his kingdom and to live a ‘normal life’ for his parents. On the one hand his parents are encouraged that their son is ‘healing’, on the other hand he is still as crazy as he ever was and needs to keep his kingdom in order while going to school and living a normal life.

The bunk bed with slide, his castle in his bedroom, falls into chaos while he is at school and he needs to appoint leaders who will run the country in his absence. By the time he grows up and leaves school, graduates from university and becomes a CEO in a big company, he still needs to ring the toys in his bedroom from his cellphone to keep them in order while he is at work. However being a king since his childhood has made him so mature that as a CEO he is like a king in his demeanour and everybody looks up to him and respects him.