After GI Joe had been missing for a few days, the toys began to worry about him. They hadn’t heard from him since he had left, and no one had any idea where he was. When one of the Furbies admitted that he had seen him in the garage climbing up the wheel of the car, a panic broke out among the toys and many of them were convinced that he was already dead. There was wailing and weeping of tears, and a funeral was organised.
The funeral went well, and this video was played as a memorial:
“Nonsense!” John Heron cried out, in an attempt to control the situation. “He survived the war, he can survive this too. I don’t know where he is, but wherever he is, he’s alive. I can feel it! We must rescue him.” The toys listened to John, but had no idea of where to start looking.
GI Joe and Jessica Rabbit woke up as the sun shone on their faces and yawned. They had a bit of time to cuddle before they had to get up and get dressed, as there was no rush to get anything done. Jessica had been so lonely since Roger was shot almost twenty years ago, so the novelty of having a man around hadn’t yet worn off and she wanted to make the most of it before his friends showed up and ruined everything. “Oh Joey Hunny”, she cooed. “Stay with me here”. “But the gang will be wondering where I am, Sweetheart”, Joe explained. “They’ll be worried, they’ll think I hurt myself or something”.
Jessica was nervous that the toys would take Joe away from her, but she didn’t want to start a fight that might cause her to lose him so she put her clothes on and lit a cigarette. Joe knew she felt that way so he didn’t bother encouraging her to put the cigarette out, he let her have her smoke. He wondered also about the toys – he missed them, but he has a great thing going on with Jessica too. Perhaps she would be interested in coming back with him to live at John’s place?
When John had heard that GI Joe had climbed up the wheel of the car and held onto the underneath of the engine, he retraced his steps of where he had driven that day. “Let me think”, he said aloud to no one in particular. “It wasn’t a long drive, I just went to the grocery store down the street – its walking distance really, I only drove so I didn’t have to carry the groceries all that way, lazy really”. So he walked outside and down the street to look for him.
There were only about six or seven shops between his house and the grocery store so it wasn’t long before he found Joe. He had gone into each shop asking if anyone had seen a lost GI Joe toy, and eventually there he was in a tattoo parlour, sitting in a pot plant posing as if he was sniping the customers. The tattooist thought it looked cool to set him up in that position so Joe stayed like that, he had no intention of actually shooting anybody. The tattooist liked his new shop decoration, so John had to pay $10 to get him back. They walked out of the shop and Joe immediately started yelling to go back in. “John! We gotta go back! Don’t take me without my girlfriend, man! She’s still back there!” So John walked back into the shop and started to bargain with the tattooist for the Jessica Rabbit figurine.
“She’s not for sale” the tattooist told him. “You can’t just come in and buy our shop decorations, we’ve had this one as long as we’ve had the shop. Either get a tattoo, or leave the shop”. John and Joe left the shop, and drove to the local toy store. The plan was to buy three or four different Jessica Rabbit figurines, and swap them for the one in the store. John could sympathise with John, and was only too happy to help. “Good evening ladies,” Joe said to the JR figurines, still in their packaging.
Jessica meanwhile, was distraught that Joe had been taken and she hadn’t, and decided she was going to run away to find him again. She noticed that when John and Joe had left the shop, they turned right, so she knew which way to go. She went to her private stash and pulled out the best heel protectors NZ has ever seen, the fancy kind of flared heel protectors that are designed to help you wear heels in the craziest of situations. She put them in her heels and shimmied down the table leg and landed on her feet like a boss. Hiding behind a curtain while customers came into the shop, she waited for her opportunity and then bolted out the shop door.
When John and Joe came in about two minutes later and proposed a swap, she was nowhere to be seen. The tattooist thought John was crazy but was only too happy to make the swap, however he couldn’t find her. John gave him the figurines anyway and went out the door. They looked around and couldn’t find her, they called out her name – eventually they found her hiding in the grass from the pedestrians so they wouldn’t stand on her. “Thats not safe either – people still walk on the grass too you know” John told her. They took her back to John’s place and introduced her to the other toys.